thinking like a river / fall solstice

Fall solstice. There was a super moon lunar eclipse in pisces last week. I started going to AA again. I am in bed, smoking. My mother would kill me. What if we were never meant to meet? I dont think that's the case. I realized I've been growing in a pot when i should be growing in the ground. I need to uproot myself and plant myself somewhere bigger. Don't kiss anyone unless you really want to. The only thing you can control is yourself and your reactions. I feel no shame, it is my first time on earth. I have all the answers, i just need time. I love you a lot. Goodnight Moon, you are a dear friend to me.